Iq84 by Mike Dickenson

Author:Mike Dickenson [Dickenson, Mike]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Humor, satire, politics, fiction, general
Publisher: Mike Dickenson
Published: 2017-03-07T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 17: The Flood

"Welp, that settles it," Jerry said, stepping back onto the bus. "The virus is definitely following us."

"How can you tell?" David asked and pushed the app on his phone and the bus rolled to a start again.

"Because another gas station attendant's head just blew up."

"That's terrible!" David moaned.

"Tell me about it," Jerry said, wiping a dab of brain-goo off his shoulder. "Luckily most of these red stains are from last month's spaghetti night."

"We must be careful," Dr. Whyzer said. "The whole nation is likely infected. Strange that none of us have contracted the virus. In my case I suspect it's likely thanks to my steady prescription of preventative medication."

"I'd agree, Doc," Jerry said. "I've taken three pills and have never felt better. Best meds I've taken in weeks!"

"Jerry, if everyone's infected, you can't go around hugging people," Courtney said.

"Well, maybe it would be a less violent world if more people were open to hugging," Jerry shrugged and stepped forward, preparing to hug Courtney.

She shifted her weight and crossed her arms. "You put us all in danger when you do that," she said.

"Hey, I thought that construction worker was using that hardhat like a gas mask for his head." He shook his head remorsefully. "Fella sure didn't like the back-rub I tried to give him."

"Maybe David's the reason we're all immune," Courtney said.

"Me? Really?"

"Sure. Maybe you're like, reverse infected or something. Maybe everyone you get in contact with stays healthy. Just look at all of us!"

David thought about this new idea carefully. Maybe she was right. Maybe he should be the one hugging people instead of Jerry.

"I still think it's the drugs," Jerry said.

Alma stood up. She hadn't said a word since she had gotten on the bus, but David had observed her spiking anxiety. "Do you really think that you're going to escape the Lord's wrath by taking narcotics?" she accused Jerry.

"Now Alma," Jacob Timpson said and began to gently rub her arm with his fingers. "Be still."

"I will not be still," she said and jerked her arm away. "I've been still. At first I thought we were on a one-way bus to heaven, but the more I listen to this heathen talk the more I begin to realize that we have been led into the devil's chambers."

"What tipped you off?" Jerry asked. "It was the titties on the side of the bus, wasn't it?"

Alma opened her mouth and gasped.

"Good Sir!" Jacob said. "I will not allow you to say such things to my wife."

"Which one?" Dr. Whyzer asked and buried his chuckles in Jerry's shoulder.

"Alma's right," Neleh said and stepped forward. "We've been in the back of this darn bus for hours now listening to these outsiders cuss and talk about such terrible things like drugs and sex and aliens-"

"I swear I saw one back there!" Jerry said.

"That was a homeless man!" she yelled.

"Women, women," Jacob started.

"Don't you women us," Sarah said snidely. "I agree. A real man would have done something by now. He would have at least said something.

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